more down than up
watching my little brother come to terms with treatment for illness and all-the-things that go with it
the heaviness of wondering whether daughter is OK
the tiredness of a daily commute that leaves me with sharp teeth that bite those I love best
the weird dances that introverts do with new work colleagues
the work itself that has systems that are left patchily wanting
the pecking order that leaves temps as the needed but unwanted at the bottom of the heap
the meetings that you hope will refresh and revive but end up going in circles where the old, familiar and gregarious do the talking
the forgetting to pray for those who I have said I will pray for
and hanging on to the end of a rope that is fraying.
In and between all these things You are constant, noiseless, silent yet blessing, in the same way that You have been patiently shaping those You love for a thousand ages.
Reaching down for our hand to help us back up
healing in ways beyond our understanding
carrying our load with us
renewing our strength when it fails and enabling the antiseptic of forgiveness to soothe bite wounds
ensuring that people know they matter even when social and psychological systems shout otherwise
equipping us with knowledge to work out missing parts
making the last first and the first last.
Refreshing and restoring us in unexpected ways; vibrantly colouring nature's landscape and elevating the every day ordinary to extraordinary if we choose to be captivated with hearts and eyes
never forgetting and always forgiving us first
mending the rope
washing away the dirt
untangling the knots
and reeling us in when we don't have the will and strength to come to You.
Who alone could save themselves
Their own soul could heal
Our shame was deeper than the sea
Your grace is deeper still
You O Lord have made a way
The great divide you heal
For when our hearts were far away
Your love went further still
(O yes) Your love goes further still