To me home,
you are sometimes a funny old thing. Which town to put as ‘home’ on social
media when you have moved from place to place? Where you are living currently,
where you were born, where you spent secondary school (if you managed constancy
during these years?)
I haven’t got
the foggiest which postcode I belong to. Place attachment feels about as
definite as my grandfather’s birthplace in ‘the cottages near the village pub’.
I’m certainly
not from round here. After all this particular physical house was only ever
intended to be a temporary, rental stepping stone towards a house that is for
the first time fully ours. But temporary has turned into three years and onward
progress sees patient patience hanging on by a thread at times.
We have found
ourselves in but not of the community. Partly through choice we have not
invested time and energy in getting to know people in the neighbourhood that
well. We assumed we would sneak in
unobtrusively and move on fairly quickly. A kerfuffle with the front door lock when
we moved in lured Bob at No.1 and his watchful eye over the road to
investigate.
When I was
young, unafraid and newly married I knew that an itinerant lifestyle was on the
cards with the Scotsman going into church ministry. Then I found the prospect tantalising,
going where God was leading and all the great, exciting things that would follow. It didn't take long for that bubble to burst because the child-like expectations I had in the early days of marriage were actually quite childish and soon developed into demands that others would somehow fulfil long buried unhappiness I didn't know I had buried as I was growing up.
Years have taught me that I really don’t like moving that much. Along the way I have
lost confidence when it comes to making new friendships, trying to break into
familiar, long established circles. I have also resented friends whose children
have had lifelong friends because they have lived in one place - their way looks easy and mine hard especially when I have compared and not been grateful.
It is still all where God has been leading, just not what I envisaged it would be all those years ago.
We are all slowly but surely taking the long way home.
This evening I’m following the poet Ian McMillan’s
(@IMcMillan) tortuously slow but poetic train journey home this evening via
twitter “Back to Manchester. I
left here at 1820. Still, time's an elastic concept. Going home via
Huddersfield.” Yep, Huddersfield has been one of our staging posts along
the way too.
Stability and
home have been the greatest gifts to me from those who know and love me for who
I am. Jesus, family, friends, a safe stronghold, the Kingdom and not a building of bricks or stone.
Most of all a place where no-one has to impress anyone.
I had a
work colleague who recounted how a leading actress in a TV series once used the loo in her
house while filming was taking place in the area. The nub of the story was not
that someone famous had peed in her loo but that the cat being in charge of all the comings
and goings had been keeping a firm beady eye on all the proceeedings in the
bathroom. An observation not lost on the actress either.
(Lateral thinking led me back to this particular story because the TV series
was ‘Where the heart is’. Home ..)
At the end of
the day it’s the little ordinary things like this that really matter. The
outworking of home in the every day and in the heart.
For the record on facebook I use the Midlands town
where I went to secondary school as ‘home’ even though I was born in the South
East and we and all of our children have lived in both the South and the North
of England. Very soon we hope to become bone fide adopted northerners as we
will own cobbles!
As far as I know I have never been
watched by a cat while on the loo.
I loved reading this, Jo. I really admire your courage in living so far from 'home' - I imagine it can't be easy. And it really did make me think about why we choose to attribute that home label to where we do -and where we feel we belong. Thank you for linking up with us - I loved this food for thought! x
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